Friday, August 26, 2005

journal notes

I have this journal now, an actual one to write in, like with my hands, a pen, and everything. Anyway, sometimes it's easier for me to be thoughtful when there isn't a computer screen in front of me. But I liked some of what I wrote, so I might from time to time copy some of my thoughts onto this page, on the offchance that a few people out there are still paying attention. Some of this will surely stem from some new ideas about reality colliding with my faith and mixing together in a sort of "new kind of christian" way, or, as the Switchfoot song says, "a new way to be human". Here's the first one.

When does a 'brave fae' become courage?

When someone puts on a brave face, it is, in part, a resignation, acknowledging what, in one's perception, simply is.

But courage? Courage acknowledges the possibilities. Courage believes! It believes in the power of good. It believes in the future. Courage is steadfast in the face of failure. Defiant in the face of challenges. Calm and collected. Cheerful and undying.

So when does one become the other? How can a person cross over to true courage? What does it take? A change of thoughts? When do thoughts become beliefs? Can one make it happen? Wrestle, grasp, and force reality to your will? Or must one embrace the possibilities, ride the wave of eventualities, skip from moment to moment, 'til the current carries one to the eventuality of truth, belief, faith, courage.

Questions continue to pour in my head, wondering how best to proceed with my life, wondering how to get it right. Not just living a moral existence, but a fulfilled one, a good and peace-filled life, being salt and light in the world and a blessing to neighbors and friends and enemies and all. Questions. ...


David said...

Regarding courage, something I've been learning from my wonderful wife is that it's doing the right thing in difficult circumstances. For me, it's things like jumping into your pool in the middle of the winter to save your neighbor's dog who stupidly wandered into it (to just do the right thing, no matter what you think about the neighbors and their doggie-parenting skills), to staying calm in the middle of an argument, not saying things that you want to say that will most likely make things worse (like you care anyway at the time).

Also, personally, I am finding alot of courage in surrender. Almost like Buddhist surrender - the idea of letting life go. Just going with the flow of things and _trusting_ that everything will work out in your best interests as long as you keep positive.

Good luck.

srchngformystry said...

so...i just found your blog and would like to respond. courage, to me at least, is about facing challenges (real or perceived) and persevering. its all some of us have. but its the degree of courage that we show that separates us one and all. how is the pen and paper journal going? ive kept on forever and cannot imagine living w/o one.

Jake said...

the pen and paper journal I now save for emergencies. Things too personal or distressing to be accessible to the viewing public I like to keep on paper. But sometimes I'll write something I can put on here. Depends on my mood.

Courage is a strange thing. My whole point with questioning it is that sometimes I wonder if the courage it takes to persevere through life's challenges is considered extraordinary only because so few people have the wherewithal to stick to it and therefore greatly admire those who do. What if that should be the norm, and true courage would be in expecting and believing in something greater, taking the risks that no one else takes to get where no one else goes, because you believe. I suppose it's just a matter of raising the bar a little. At the very least, I'm often doing that to myself.