Friday, February 05, 2010

My little boy has beautiful dark eyes

So I'm a daddy now, but while the idea of having a son has begun to sink in, the life of a father has not, since we are still at the hospital, waiting for Emmaus to get better. He is on a swift road to recovery, which is great, and Cassie and I are really excited.

When Emmaus was born he wasn't breathing on his own and he didn't cry for several minutes, which is not surprising since his lungs had aspirated a lot of meconium during his long labor. They helped him breathe quickly, and he was moving around, and though he wasn't crying yet, his eyes were open, and they were the most beautiful, dark baby eyes I've ever seen. He was one of those unique newborns who looked everybody in the eyes and was very aware of what was going on, even though he was sick and beat up from the labor. He started crying on the way to the NICU, where they hooked him up to a respirator, gave him a couple of IV's, and continued to clean out his lungs and stomach of harmful particles. The scariest part was when he was first born, not breathing and barely moving, but once they got him on the warmer, got him some oxygen, cleaned him off, and brought color into his skin, I knew he was going to be fine. He is continually getting better, faster than the doctors had anticipated. He's a strong, scrappy little boy. Since that first night, though, they've had him sedated to keep him comfortable, so he's always had his eyes closed. I miss his eyes, and I wish everyone else could see them.

Anyway, I just thought I'd write down some thoughts and memories and feelings for now. I'm really looking forward to take my little boy home.