Wednesday, October 19, 2005


I really wish I knew the secret of energy. Not like I care what it's really made of or what we can truly learn from the atomic level. That's all scientific hoo-haa to me, anyway. But how do I grasp and hold on to energy? I'm not talking about the energy that comes from Mountain Dew, either. That kind of energy doesn't make you want to write a novel or compose a symphony or inspire you to travel the world and help the poor. That's just momentary. I'm talking about the kind of energy that motivates. When you're sitting in your chair and instead of flipping on the TV, you start writing and you write something that is really cool and you're all into it and you just can't stop and you look at it a couple days later and wonder, how the hell did I work up the energy to do that and why don't I have it now? That's what I'm wondering about. Attaining to levels of greatness, if that's what one desires, it seems to me, would involve a great amount of that kind of energy. Do you just need the right amount of sleep? The right intake of food? The right amount of exercise? Do your thoughts need to just convince your brain to produce those kind of brainwaves that trigger those kind of hormones that cause that kind of energy to erupt in your system? I don't know, but I'd kind of like to find out. Sometimes I get tired of being unmotivated. I've been doing better recently, but I'd like to have that a greater amount of the time.

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