And he who has not, even what he has will be taken from him

They used to tell me that I would only meet the right girl when I wasn't looking for her. I always said that was stupid and cliche, not to mention incredibly frustrating. When I went to Africa, people said I'd meet someone and end up married. I replied that that was ridiculous and there was no way I would end up fitting that stereotype. When I met Cassie, I told myself that it was nothing. I said that nothing serious was happening - it was just the excitement and freedom of being overseas in a strange place with new people. As time progressed, of course, I began to see things differently, but the point is, it came when I wasn't looking, when I wasn't worrying or fretting about anything happening.

So I've been wondering if that's just the way things are in all of life. It seems we don't get something until we are content with what we have already. Those who miss out are plagued with the desire for the unattainable. Maybe this is what Jesus was talking about, when he said that those who have will be given more, and those who do not have, even what they have will be taken from them. It's a weird comment, and not a lot of preachers will dwell on it. I believe he was talking more about responsibilities and (the parable of the talents), but if you think about it, he's really talking about what we're doing with what we've already been given. If we take what we've been given and do something with it, then we receive more. When we sit on what we've been given, hide it, keep it safe and secret, then we've wasted our gifts. How many of us spend our lives wishing for things we don't have, all the while burying our gifts and talents. Maybe it really is that simple.

So I've been listening to a lot of ideas recently about being thankful for what you have, about living in the present, savoring the moment, making the most of opportunities, etc. And basically, I'm thinking that we not only have a the opportunity to live life to the full with what we have, but we have an obligation to make the most of all that we've been given, whether that's ten talents or just one. Otherwise, we can expect to lose even the little that we've been given. I don't know if that applies to everything: money, career, personal fulfillment, spiritual sanctity, etc, but it seems like it does. It seems like that's the way it works with all facets of life.

We tend to take Jesus words and only apply them to so-called "spiritual" issues, but I think we miss that there is a pattern in life that applies to everything, something that ties spiritual and temporal together. The scriptures say to do ALL things as unto the Lord. It says to receive all things with thanksgiving. In the meantime, we should seek first the kingdom of heaven and store up for ourselves treasure in heaven. But let us not forget to live life now.

Thoughts from Taoism

"Today, one is considered productive to the extent that she generates monetary profit for herself or others. In the determination of her social standing, her intelligence, innate talents, and service to others are secondary to her earning capacity. In practice, this means that individuals choose their work on the basis of what will pay rather than on what will give them the most enjoyment and provide the greatest service to others. Again, the Taoists would not see this as productive, for it limits human happiness and leaves many needed things undone, while we scurry about doing things of little real value."

"New gadgetry that comes at the expense of peace of mind or human relationships cannot be considered progress."

"In the later part of the nineteenth century, interest in this problem [of how to produce sufficient goods to supply people's basic needs] began to fade as a second problem came to dominate the thinking of the economists: How to overcome the problem of overproduction, or alternatively stated, How to increase consumption to insure sustained demand for ever-increasing production? The answer lay in tapping into what was conceived of as an endless resource - the human emotion of greed."

"'Constant change... through the entire gamut of material, color, design is essential to the prosperity alike of producers and distributors.'
It is our job to make women unhappy with what they have. --B. Earl Puckett, former head of Allied Stores Corporation."

My little boy has beautiful dark eyes

So I'm a daddy now, but while the idea of having a son has begun to sink in, the life of a father has not, since we are still at the hospital, waiting for Emmaus to get better. He is on a swift road to recovery, which is great, and Cassie and I are really excited.

When Emmaus was born he wasn't breathing on his own and he didn't cry for several minutes, which is not surprising since his lungs had aspirated a lot of meconium during his long labor. They helped him breathe quickly, and he was moving around, and though he wasn't crying yet, his eyes were open, and they were the most beautiful, dark baby eyes I've ever seen. He was one of those unique newborns who looked everybody in the eyes and was very aware of what was going on, even though he was sick and beat up from the labor. He started crying on the way to the NICU, where they hooked him up to a respirator, gave him a couple of IV's, and continued to clean out his lungs and stomach of harmful particles. The scariest part was when he was first born, not breathing and barely moving, but once they got him on the warmer, got him some oxygen, cleaned him off, and brought color into his skin, I knew he was going to be fine. He is continually getting better, faster than the doctors had anticipated. He's a strong, scrappy little boy. Since that first night, though, they've had him sedated to keep him comfortable, so he's always had his eyes closed. I miss his eyes, and I wish everyone else could see them.

Anyway, I just thought I'd write down some thoughts and memories and feelings for now. I'm really looking forward to take my little boy home.